My arm has healed, (mostly, still a little tender) and I got really, really bored. I've made 13 random clay models, some out of the new clay I'd ordered (as practice) and the rest out of the heavier clay I usually use. Two of which I've painted and are ready to gloss, the others are in the process of being painted. I've started work on another digital painting since I was getting bored of staring at the small details on the other paintings I was working on. I'm not sure if they'll even turn out how I want them to :/. I've also brought my nans awesome sewing machine off of her and once I set it up at home I can get to work on stuff I've wanted to do for ages, like adding more to my Halloween costume and fixing those rough edges. (I have repainted and remodeled the 'face' on it already).
As my nan is moving (when a bungalow becomes empty) she needs all the money she can get and its her birthday in two weeks. I can't buy her anything for her new place yet as she hasn't got one (she is classed as homeless) she never asks for anything either. I usually get her a voucher for her makeup and, although I know she appreciates it, I would love to help her out a bit more. I gave her more than she asked for the sewing machine because its a good machine and is worth the money, and she needs the help. (Its also helpful to have one to make repairs to clothing etc and will save me money in the long run) Unfortunately I can't give her all the help I'd like to as I'm one of those people the government and newspapers are always complaining about. In other words, I'm on benefits. Due to my depression and anxiety (leading to me being unable to deal with people on a daily basis) I am unable to work. Its why I've set up commissions and an etsy store. Sadly doing the things I love costs money and I'll probably have to stop at some point in the near future. Some people have told me to use Ebay to sell some items, but I've never sold on there and I have this ad thing on my pc that takes over that site (I now have ad blocker installed I've also gone through every file and programme on my computer to see if its hiding somewhere. It isn't.) becuase of that I can't use Ebay any more. For now I'm trying to be a little sparing with my materials as when the more expensive ones run out I don't know when I'll be able to get more, if ever.
My finances are fine, at the moment. I can pay the bills and eat at the same time (a lot of you probably have no idea of how luxurious that is. To me that is simply amazing. The absolute best thing ever.) but a sudden bill could send me spiraling out of financial control.
The people I've commissioned, or am hoping to commission are alright. I always keep money back for things like that and save up for it and owning a piece of someones art makes me really happy. Seeing a piece of art hanging in my house makes it seem a little brighter, and I've found myself staring at some of the pieces I have when I have a bad day.
This isn't a journal begging for commissions or anything like that (I don't even have enough on etsy to validate a money off coupon, and I'd lose money that way anyway.) its more that I'm dissatisfyed with my own quality of work, and sad that I'll have to stop making things. For the time being I have enough fur, wire and clay to make a few more dolls and a few more clay models. I guess I'm just sad that I know I'll have to stop. I have run out of places to store all my finished makes.
I have a lot going on at home atm and I'm feeling really empty. Like I've just had enough of trying so hard. There's no point. I just have to get through the day.